cheryl julia.

I'm leaving you for the last time, baby.
You think you're loving but you don't love me.


so i am halfway through my papers (yay!) but I have about five million more to go (aw.)
it's strange. but i am not as panicky about it as i thought i would be.
i don't think it's complacency. god knows i am not smart enough to be that.
i am just waiting for the days to go by until third december arrives.
and then. life.
meow.

p.s: i got the internship thing at my school. me, a future educator? god bless my students.
till then.

p.p.s: castle totally kicks ass.

p.p.p.s: i love james. :]]]
 
 
Current Music: warwick avenue- duffy
 
 

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cheryl julia.
it was the way she said it, with all the conviction in the world. 'i know you will be happy.'

---

i asked my mum what kind of future she saw lying ahead of me.
she said, with a tinge of sadness, 'i think we will see very little of you.
but it is because you are out there, travelling and living your dream.'
'will i be happy?' i asked.
'yes. undeniably, unabashedly. almost shamelessly,' she smiled.
'you think?'
and she said, 'no, i know.'

and i felt impossibly light and giddy.
i will be happy. 
:]

i refuse to be burdened by these expectations.
be buoyed by them.
not burdened.

meow.
that is my war cry.

it starts tomorrow.
and i will rock it.
with 'a's or 'b's or even 'c's.
(though i really hope not.)


and then, life begins.

meow.
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cheryl julia.
in slightly more than a week, i will be embarking on the horrific journey that is the a levels. but presenting, the light at the end of the tunnel:

- (hopefully) relief teaching at tjc with the girls
- kickboxing classes with xinci and isabelle
- korean classes with xinci and debbie (and yuxuan!)
- starting my sandman project
- working on the overdue teachers' day presents with rimiko and kim
- conquering sentosa with charlene and bee
- watching all the movies i missed
- trip to russia
- trip to europe
- trip to korea (hopefully)
- outings with the cousins
- outings with the girls
- outings with wing and wenxin
- AAAAANNNND BEING TOTALLY HAPPY AND FREE.

with this plan in mind, i actually can't wait for the a's to come and go. XDDDD

 
 
cheryl julia.
03 October 2009 @ 11:05 am
prelims are overrr!

hello, the lost symbol! i started it a while ago and i am on chapter 70, page 262. rock on, dan brown. as usual, the book is a real page turner, giving the reader alternating views of the characters. sometimes, he takes just a bit too long to describe everything, in my opinion and my head is just screaming, PLOT! but, awesome book so far. and it is extremely rich in history, which is why i love dan brown's books.

anyway, the day prelims ended (two days ago) was spent watching inglourious basterds and pigging out on sushi with ting. the movie is brilliant! well, lots of blood splattering, mostly done by the basterds but you are always rooting for them anyway. thumbs up to the hilarious brad pitt, the strangely endearing eli roth, the elegant melanie laurent and the chilling christoph waltz who had ting and i on the edge of our seats throughout. it is definitely not a movie for the weak hearted what with all the gore. but an awesome, awesome movie.

yesterday was spent hitting town with jh and ting. i visited ion orchard for the first time and can i just say that is reminds me of an obscenely large diamond ring, perched on the wrinkled finger of a snobby and repulsive old lady? anyway, there seems to be an invisible line that demarcates the rich man's world, and the world belonging to the rest of us mortals. the basement has a few awesome eateries though. yay for provenance! :]]] the night ended on a nice note with dinner at the oriole, at pan pacific. the bangers and mash and chocolate fudge cake was pretty awesome. and on a quieter night, i would gladly have sat there throughout.

two more days of absolute non-studying and it's back to the world of exams. reality bites.

 
 
Current Mood: enthralled
 
 
cheryl julia.
30 September 2009 @ 05:44 pm
i know the color scheme of the layout is more than a bit off but i needed a change from mj quick so i used one of my ancient blends.

technically, i shouldn't even be doing this since i have one more paper tomorrow. but my self-control has been amazing so far. haha. the last two three months since i last updated has been really disgusting. especially for someone who barely studies. and the next month leading up to the a levels exams are going to be even worse. eck.

for the moment, i am really looking forward to the next two days. i am catching a movie with ting tomorrow (most likely inglourious basterds) and hitting town with jh and ting on friday. :]]]] much love.

and thanks to bala and josh, i am back on my mystery phase. what with awesome episodes of psych and chapters of detective conan, i could really spend the rest of my life in front of my laptop. and i have dan brown's the lost symbol on my desk, yo! MWAHAHHA. hello, thursday! and how i met your mother's latest season! life is awesome.

and i want to catch funny people, accident, the time traveller's wife, (500) days of summer! but eck. the a levels loom.



 
 
Current Mood: excited
Current Music: better that we break- maroon five
 
 
cheryl julia.
22 July 2009 @ 05:20 pm
HIATUS
due to the gross concept that is school and the a levels,
c-onmt.lj is going on a hiatus since i do not see me having much free time in the next few months.
to my lj friends, i will keep reading your journals but forgive me if i do not comment often.
to everyone else,
until next time.

xoxo,
me.
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cheryl julia.
14 July 2009 @ 05:18 pm
i just need to echo this from [info]eye_holes' entry:

for what it's worth: it's never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. there's no time limit, stop whenever you want. you can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. we can make the best or the worst of it. i hope you make the best of it. and i hope you see things that startle you. i hope you feel things you never felt before. i hope you meet people with a different point of view. i hope you live a life you're proud of. if you find that you're not, i hope you have the strength to start all over again.
- the curious case of benjamin button (movie)

i want to be startled, shaken and excited to the depths of my heart and frankly, i think that is quite impossible to accomplish that in my current situation. i was telling a friend recently that one of my greatest fear is of falling into a cycle of mundanity. and of course, school is forcing me into that pattern very nicely. to wake up, head to school, look at stuff that i have no interest in, heading back home, further immersing myself in said undesirable subjects, go to sleep and wake up again.

the only highlight of my day was literature class, which has always been the high point of any day. in fact, it is just about the only thing that gets me out of bed on most days. if someone does a count, i suspect that my absences fall mostly on wednesdays and fridays, when i have no literature classes.

and i just caught beyonce's video for sweet dreams, and while i do not think it is as bad as my literature teacher puts it (in her words: she's just doing boob gymnastics... and beating herself up! it's a cry for help! she's going, 'help me! i am insane!' and no one's listening! help her!), i think it is well, extremely odd. my eyebrows kind of went up when she started levitating. it's... odd. go watch it. i insist.

and, yay for andy samberg! XD



and a meme... )
 
 
Current Mood: contemplative
Current Music: the ballad of love and hate- the avett brothers
 
 

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cheryl julia.
well, the past two days have been just near perfection. i finished truman capote: the complete stories, watched two csi:ny episodes and a total of four awesome movies: breakfast at tiffany's, nick and norah's infinite playlist, i love you man and amelie.

breakfast at tiffany's was like a classic chick flick with better acting and a sweeter ending. the depiction of the lifestyles of the rich and famous are nicely aligned with the ideas put forth by capote in the novel, but the movie was less of a commentary on said lifestyles and more of a romance, albeit a very, very sweet romance. nick and norah was wonderfully enjoyable and lighthearted, largely due to my enormous crush on michael cera who does the whole awkwardly-sensitive-but-in-a-very-charming-sort-of-way thing very nicely. i love you, man was hilarious but it was kind of weird watching it with bala and kim. for obvious reasons. but paul rudd and jason segal make good bromance movies. not exactly high on the intellectual level but fun nevertheless. some instances of really bad humor though. and amelie. dear, dear amelie. now i understand why i loved pushing daisies; it is the whole amelie feel about it. amelie poulain has a way of helping people out in the quirkiest of ways. my favorite was the running commentary she gave the blind man she helped across the street. and her relationship with nino was endearing and beautiful in how their connection was built on mystery and suspense and romance. it was courtship in an entirely twisted-but-in-a-way-that-is-not-perverted way. playing on amelie's naivety, the movie was simple in its message and relied on good old storytelling to bring it across.

so in my opinion,
breakfast at tiffany's is best watched if you love a good romance classic.
nick and norah's infinite playlist is best watched when you need a feel-good movie or some michael cera.
i love you, man is best watched when you just want a good laugh.
amelie is best watched when you feel jaded with life or if you think life sucks in general.

and now, i adjourn. back to my world of indie music and movies. and michael cera. XD

oh right. school started today. blah blah.

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Current Mood: relaxed
Current Music: don't forget to breathe- beulah
 
 
cheryl julia.
today in a nutshell:



today in a walnut shell. )

and next week is going to be great too! well, the first two days of it anyway. i will be spending monday with the girls at sentosa, in an attempt to revive our annual 'getaway'! and tuesday is my date with kim, ximin, rimiko and bala for an awesome bromance: i love you, man starring jason segal and paul rudd! YAY!

throw in nights of csi:ny, truman capote, the new album by the script, cups of m&s mocha and a return to the gym,
life is good.

oh, and i finally got twitter. heh.

Title: Wall
Author: </a></b></a>[info]choke_onmytie
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: only from the abyss that is my imagination; deep and empty.

on your wall... )
 
 
Current Mood: happy
Current Music: the man who can't be moved- the script
 
 
cheryl julia.
03 July 2009 @ 08:33 pm
i know it is really late but this is my tribute to mj, a mashup of various images found on deviantart.com. while i am not his biggest fan, i completely respect the genius that brought us heal the world, the way you make me feel and i just can't stop loving you. rest in peace, king of pop.

~

on a happier (?) note, jcts are finally over. gone are the days of skipping lunch and cramming for the tests at *bucks. much thanks and love to xiuwen and nicholas, my faithful companions. this time round, i think i was more satisfied with the papers. not that i am going to fare well in any of the papers, but i was particularly happy with my literature essays for paper one and four practical criticism. paper one was a choice between poems on love and poems on child soldiers (i chose the latter), and paper four was between a play and prose (i chose the former. not my usual choices, but hey, i had lots of fun doing them. so much so that i neglected my other four essays. XD every other paper is just a distant memory.

~

and here is a poem i came across on relationships, thanks to joshua. i could just have easily been the persona.

before or after by dorothy nimmo. )
 
 
Current Mood: chipper
Current Music: heal the world- michael jackson
 
 
cheryl julia.
13 June 2009 @ 08:17 pm
"When i use a word," Humpty Dumpty said, in a rather scornful tone, "it means what i choose it to mean. Neither more nor less!"
"The question is," said Alice, "whether you can make words mean so many different things."
"The question is," said Humpty Dumpty, "who is to be master, that's all."
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cheryl julia.
05 June 2009 @ 11:20 pm
Alice: Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?
The Cat: That depends a good deal on where you want to get to
Alice: I don't much care where.
The Cat: Then it doesn't much matter which way you go.
Alice: …so long as I get somewhere.
The Cat: Oh, you're sure to do that, if only you walk long enough.
- Alice in Wonderland, Lewis Caroll

~

i blog! heh.

and i am only going to blog about days as far back as my memory can stretch. which is back to saturday. heh.

can marathon
was... tragic. i was supposed to shoot the event but seeing as it was... tragic... well. yep. hung around mostly with rimiko, izyan, sean and lenny. and i saw jerome! which was kind of weird. but it was all six degrees of separation. jerome's girlfriend is rimiko's friend's friend and jerome's sean's ex-classmate or something. cool. then out for lunch with rimiko, sean and lenny. then back home to sleep. XD i love their faces when i complain about how tired i was after nine hours of sleep even though people like rimiko didn't sleep at all. XD

the highlight of tuesday was exco meeting, which was cool cause we kind of freaked ourselves out over the nightwalk. sadia had an awesomely freaky storyline planned but after sharing ghost stories, we tamed it abit. then we walked the path to check stuff out to make sure it was safe. haha.

wednesday was XIUWEN'S BIRTHDAY! happy birthday, o' friend of four years! XDDD and then, there was chemistry lecture, which kim, bala, rimiko, xiuwen and i happily ran out of midway. and we trudged down to pizza hut to eat like cows. XDDD and rimiko found her bestfriend there! HAHA. i love these people. poor xiuwen had to rush back to school for econs because KIMBERLY ate so slowly. and she was dumping random stuff onto bala's plate so i had to join in. and they covered my plate with awesome awesome cheese! XDDD then we left for marine parade library to study. and we met keith and xinzhi! so our party of six camped at the library to do work. well, some of us anyway. SOME people were just reading books and stoning. XD then bala had his 'girly' dinner of a bun and cheesecake and xinzhi and keith had their 'manly' dinner of bubble tea. XD

thursday was the day of literature lecture, and a disgusting meal at carl's jr., thanks to isabelle and jennifer! haha. i am never stepping within fifty feet of a carl's jr. outlet again. EVER.

today consisted of another literature lecture and camping at parkway to finish gary's mountain of work. and hunting for my dear sultana roll. and xiuqing scolding me for giving up a trip to bangkok to study. haha.

life is awesome when you take it in the right perspective. :]]]
 
 
Current Mood: happy
 
 
cheryl julia.
16 May 2009 @ 01:02 am
i came across this quote by william yeats on an episode of fighting spiders and it became especially relevant today, when that time of the month swings by and my moods do the whole 'tarzan' thing.

when you feel like banging your head against a wall and waving a white flag, when you feel like screaming over nothing or wish you were swallowed upby the world. and then, you get a few awesome text messages from friends and suddenly, the world is right again. there is a name for this feeling. but i don't quite know it.

so here is a shoutout to people who made me smile and made my mood swings go away, thank you.

i can't wait for tuesday. :]

 
 
cheryl julia.
12 May 2009 @ 07:40 pm
i know i should not be blogging considering i have physics spa tomorrow. but i just had to say i feel very loved. :]]]

me: you owe me chocolate now! since you took my quiz and the last questions says you must!
joshua: luckily, i came prepared. *whips out choco banana pocky*
me: *heart melts*

daddy: STRUDEL! FIVE KINDS! APPLE, MANGO, PEACH, BLUEBERRY AND STRAWBERRY! *proudly holds out bag of strudels*
me: *heart melts*

unfortunately, the third 'man' in my life completely missed his prince charming cue. booger.

heh.

*munches on choco banana pocky*
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cheryl julia.
09 May 2009 @ 03:21 pm
woohoo! update! heh. as if anyone bothers reading this sparsely updated blog.

anyway, i thought i probably should clarify. the yous on the previous post are all different 'you's. if you have hung out with me in the past month or so, chances are one of the yous is you. just so no one else comes up to me asking about a seemingly special you in my life. that is the last thing on my mind now.

so yep. life has been awesome. playing restaurant city, reading runaways, buying a heck lot of new books (YAY!)...etc. school has been great too. yesterday, in particular. hanging out at the library with kim, rimiko and xinzhi. and the whole long weekend thing. MWAHAHAHAHA. pure genius. XDDD and searching through the disgusting complex web that is the internet for a certain incriminating photo last night till one am. rimiko, sean: i am awesome, ain't i? XDDDDDD and dinner with xinci, jen and isabelle on thursday was awesome too! :]]]]

i could go on like this forever.

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Current Mood: happy
 
 
cheryl julia.
18 April 2009 @ 04:43 pm
life has been passing me by in blinks and flashes. and the little gasps of life i can remember will probably bore you. don't get me wrong. it is not that my life sucks and i am having an 'emo' moment. my life has been far from disastrous and there have been many sparks that make each day better than the previous. but there is something about this sense of contentment that disturbs me. this emblems of perfect happiness i cannot confront. there is this constant urgent need in me to capture and preserve every single moment that i fear i may let the moment slip by altogether.

but thank you, for spending the school day with me. thank you, for laughing with me. thank you, for catching a movie with me. thank you, for going home with me. thank you, for your constant company through the texts. thank you, for the sense of contentment you fill me with.

on a side note, jennifer's kind reception of Infected has inspired me to start writing again. so i am starting on a little story idea i stole from the heaven of ideas a while back. here's a little preview:

Title: Never Meant (Working)
Author: [info]choke_onmytie
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Based loosely on the love stories of Sid Vicious and Nancy Spungen, and Bonnie and Clyde. Everything else is from the murky depths of my mind.
Warnings: None for this part of it.

 
baby, I never meant to take you down with me. )baby, I never meant to take you down with me. )


there are some poems left. she said- i can taste them on your skin. -psn
 
 
 
Current Mood: content
 
 
cheryl julia.
01 April 2009 @ 10:40 pm
i am a happy girl today. :]

i got back my physics and i made a marked improvement so yay! and kim was super ultra duper smart! she got an A! yay kim! XDDD

and civics was interesting... haha. except the four minutes thing. that's a lie. yanting and i tried it and it doesn't work.

and the ride home was awesome! yay sean! haha.

and tonight's awesome too. haha. cause i am playing robin hood on fb. i give up on metropolis and bejewelled blitz. XDDDDD

i am such an idiot sometimes. but i am a happy idiot. haha. :]]]]]

 
 
Current Mood: happy
Current Music: romeo and juliet- the killers
 
 
cheryl julia.
27 March 2009 @ 11:14 pm
today was an awesome awesome awesome day. haha.

it started with physics paper, which also marked the end of our mcts so yay! it's overrrr. rawr. haha.

then kim, xiuwen and i had lunch at seoul garden. which was awesome cause we just kept eating. and i discovered a hidden talent for cooking fish. haha. kim says if all else fails for me, i can sell fish for a living.

next, xiuwen and i caught detroit metal city, which was freaking awesome if you leave out all the actual death metal parts and the swearing. matsuyama kenichi was just freaking hilarious. i laughed till i teared. there is no trace whatsoever of L or Shin from death note and nana respectively. negishi soichi is just this totally awesome creation who's retarded yet endearing at the same time. i mean, look at these:






possible spoilers ahead. )
so thanks to xiuwen for watching the show with me! you are the only one who shares this thing i have for weird japanese shows and awesome hongkong triad movies. <3333 handsome suit next!

and tonight was really fun too. dinner with ximin and rimiko! :]]]] we ate at hk cafe, and then went over to starbucks for coffee, chitchat and photos. we took lots of lame shots and made random lists, and basically, enjoyed the fact that mcts are overrrrrrr! heh. upload the photos, rimiko! XDDD

so yep. today was awesome. thanks to all who made it that way! :]]]] and negishi soichi!

and if anyone has hideki kaji's sally, my love... please and thank you! :]

p.s: i changed my layout! coding by </a></b></a>[info]xloliconsx, header graphic by me. lyrics from sugarland's already gone.

 
 
Current Mood: happy
 
 
cheryl julia.
I wanna make you smile,
Whenever you're sad.
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad.
All I wanna do,
Is grow old with you.
- Adam Sandler, I Wanna Grow Old With You
----

and that's one of my all time favourite love songs. it's the only scene i remember from the wedding singer anyway.

so yep. one more week to mcts. RAWR. i shall camp at the airport for the rest of the week. much thanks to xw for her company today and the saturdays before! we took up space at starbucks in the morning, ate at bk, and then i left for the library. i love it. the library, i mean. i spent three hours scouring the place for edgar allan poe materials, then happily photocopying them. i am such a nerd. i actually enjoy the sound of the photocoying machine. haha. don't snigger, kim. i know you do too.

when i am old and rich enough, i shall have a library built, and it will house the most awesome literature collection in the world. :]]] that thought makes me happy.

and i am officially an old lady. i kept telling my cousin that if he doesn't behave, i am going to send him, nicely scotch-taped, in a box to the slums of india. i am too young to embrace the aunty-spirit.

a week to mcts. work hard, guys! RAWR.

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Current Mood: calm
Current Music: i wanna gorw old with you- adam sandler
 
 
cheryl julia.
27 February 2009 @ 10:59 pm
i am sorry, jimmy. i cannot do an emo post. it is too out of character. haha. just like being demure goes against all my principles.

anyway, the hideous week is finally over. no more corn-selling, soup-selling, donut-selling! and no more physics practical! or at least, until the next one. so thanks to waw for being awesome this leadership week, kim and rimiko for being constant companions, nicholas for the donut (aw.... XDDD), yang for the smses and ximin for the awesome comfort food today! XDDD

today was pretty eventful. especially at the waw booth. especially when the crickets came over. and i found out rimiko's a domestic goddess-in-training! she cooks japanese curry, for goodness sake. and i? i can manage spaghetti, omelette and salsa. but that's my limit. and i was reminded of my raw chicken tussle with wanshi back in secondary two. XDDD

spent majority of my friday doing physics as usual. and the afternoon was spent with kim and jimmy, doing gary's work and talking about interesting/weird/disturbing stuff. XDDD

and kirk's meeting up with leelian, helen, yang and caimiao tomorrow! and i can't join them! RAWRRRRR. i miss them so much. i was telling yang that i want to fly back to china with them and never come back.

and speaking of going back in time, jimmy and i were talking about how we should have played harder back in ta1. and aim to be sent to a certain someone's office more since that would mean we had a brilliant flash of fun before getting caught. i will be really sad when i have to leave tjc behind. not because i adore the school. but because i will miss the ta cohort. okay, i refuse to be bugged by that now.

anyway, tomorrow will be spent studying with xw at the aiport. yay for girlfriends, starbucks and study dates. :]

p.s: wing, i will ask you out soon, okay? my schedule's still pretty tight for now. :[[[ miss you lots, though.
 
 
Current Mood: content
Current Music: words i couldn't say- rascal flatts